You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
This is always how I figure out exactly how drunk I am.
Heidi the rabbit!
Heidi has arthritis in her knees and hips so to help with the pain, she swims a few times a week!
Sometimes she wears a scrunchie on her ears so that they don’t get wet!
I CAN’T BREATHE.
As a woman, people are going to ask you to write the kind of insipid shit they would never in a million fucking years ask a man to write. They’re going to tell you to make it lovable, to take harsh opinions out of your heroine’s head, to cut your pissy first-person essay off at the kneecaps. They’re going to run out and publish a million and one disconnected, crappy Deep Thoughts by some self-proclaimed boy wonder, but they’re going to read your perfectly delightful work and tell you that it’ll be just great, as long as you only include the stuff on the trials and tribulations of being a mom (Argh! Teehee!) or being a girl (Oh noes! Teehee!) or being a woman (Growl! Just kidding! Teehee!). They’re going to ask you to write about your recent weight gain, or your recent divorce, or your recent (insert humiliating story here), and what lessons you’ve learned from it. They’re going to want you to come up with a fucking moral to your story. Because you’re a lady, you don’t have the option of stomping around in a funk. Because you are a woman, and you feel feelings, you must draw some giant, oversimplified conclusion. You must have blandly down-to-earth protagonists, you must have lovable mommies hugging lost kittens, you must have rainbows and sunbeams spewing out of your ass. They’re going to coach you into writing something you’re not entirely sure about, something you would never in a million fucking years read yourself (if you had free will, which it sometimes seems like you don’t), and they’re going to tell you it’s pure genius. And even though you still might see your piece or essay or snippet of prose as “literary,” they’re going to stick an incendiary headline on it (“Help! I Ate My Own Vagina!”) and it’s going to be an internet sensation, and you’re going to feel Bad with a capital B about it.
RP, Fresno, CA
We want to hear from women: What’s your note to self – a piece of advice that’s helped you at work? Share your advice at http://she-works.tumblr.com
I may end up reblogging all of these.
Anonymous
We want to hear from women: What’s your note to self – a piece of advice that’s helped you at work? Share your advice at http://she-works.tumblr.com
Interesting. I usually think I’m both.
BLAME THIS POST:
your regular reminder that asoiaf started out as grrm’s stories about his pet turtles ok
just think about that when you start getting into vicious fandom arguments
you are fighting about turtles.
This wins the entire goddamned internet.
Is this real? Like for reals? If true, THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST EXPLANATION FOR ASOIAF!!!!!
(dat mean he luv him moar den 4evr)
lyk if u cryed
This has filled me with happy.
